Solitude

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Lately I’ve been feeling overwhelmed.  It’s not related to any big project or impending deadline.  The best way I can describe it is feeling that I am never alone in solitude.  Now, let me clarify that statement for a second.  Physically, I am alone for most of my day.  I work from home with only a couple of basil plants and a tiny moon cactus keeping me company.

But mentally my mind is all over the place.  It is constantly distracted by technology: my phone, my computer, back to my phone.  If I am not checking my email, I am texting, tweeting, facebooking, web surfing, then back to checking my email (as if a two minute interval would’ve really produced a mountain of new communications).  At the end of each day, I feel drained, as if I’ve been holding my breath all day, without having let go.

It concerns me that I’ve lost the ability to sit still.  Like really still.  I miss solitude and connecting to myself amidst each day’s chaos.  I wish I could pluck myself away from the hubbubs of society and land inside a humble shack by a desolate beach, with nothing but clothes to keep warm, food to keep me full, and a book to keep me entertained.

Can you relate to what I am saying? I think technology is taking over our lives: it’s good in a lot of ways but not so good when it comes to keeping us grounded in ourselves.  We’re constantly on the lookout for something new and interesting tweeted/texted/instagrammed by someone else.  If we happen to be doing something new and interesting, we feel compelled to share instead of immersing ourselves completely in that moment.

I am guilty of all of the above and I am tired of it.  In many ways, I miss the good old days when technology didn’t take over our lives, when life felt more human.

Photograph by Melissa Days at WanderingOgraphy.

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